Smoking ‘cool’, say scientists.

After years in which smoking has been labelled ’pathetic’, ‘bad for you’ and even ‘addictive’, scientists at The University of New South Wales have made the surprising discovery that that it is, in fact, ‘cool’. The shock findings, published in Nature later this month, have been warmly welcomed by the smoking community.

It’s cool.

‘We’ve suffered for years from this “uncool” thing,’ said Ida Maraschino, joint chair of TAB, a smokers’ co-operative and drop-in centre in Bournemouth. ‘These findings just confirm what our members have been saying consistently over the last decade or so: we just couldn’t get the evidence to back it up. Now these new findings are out there, we hope that some of those entrenched negative  attitudes will start to turn around.’

Researchers are now also investigating claims that smoking is ‘big’ and ‘clever’.

‘There’s so much we still don’t know,’ said Project Leader Todd Hunger. ‘These are exciting times for smokers.’

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6 thoughts on “Smoking ‘cool’, say scientists.

  1. Andy Wyper says:

    Scientists ‘cool’, say smokers.

    In response to recent findings by scientists that smoking is ‘cool’, national smoking groups have today voiced their public support for scientists declaring them “cool too”.

    A spokesmoker said “Like smokers, for far too long, scientists have been viewed as an underclass in society. Members of the public should not feel scared or embarrassed if they are mistakenly identified as scientists in pubs. As proven arbiters of ‘cool’, we smokers declare that scientists, being coldly logical and more concerned with abstract ideations than real life whilst being unable to interact with others in an emotionally meaningful manner, are in fact wildly cool”.

    Hollywood has jumped on the ‘scientists are cool’ bandwagon, following Russell Crowe’s positive* portrayal of scientist, John Nash, in ‘A Beautiful Mind’, with several hot science movies slated for release this summer. Leading the charge will be “Get Ahead, Isaac” starring a headless, dead James Dean, re-animated by scientists, playing a teenage Isaac Newton whose high school journey of personal discovery leads him to the conclusion that apples are more interesting than people.

    * Apart from the bits involving frequent and ongoing bouts of madness, schizophrenia, paranoia and extreme violence**

    ** This might just be Russell Crowe though

      • “Get Ahead, Isaac”, sounds like a clear winner. Dean could reprise his famous ‘mumblecore’ moments from such cinematic icons as ‘Rebel without a Blouse’. ‘You’re tearing me apart’, he could mumble, as the apple smashes into his face, causing immediate soft-tissue trauma to the optic orbit. ‘Gonna totally invent calculus now or, like whatever,’ he could add, mumblingly. And a new world is born.

  2. You guys with your crazy English humour I love. I have never hear Bournemouth. Is it university for sciences? I love Russel Crowe – he is total sexy with ripped body and he smoke to and also total genius in mathematic.

    • Hi Serge. Bournemouth is, in fact, a University of Smoking, recently awarded Pathfinder status, and a Centre for Smoking Excellence. Russell Crowe is Vice-Chancellor. ‘I owe my sexy ripped body and totally cool demeanor,’ he said recently, ‘mostly just to, you know, smoking. My math genius too: I was totally a math klutz before I took up smoking. And now look at me: Academy Award Winner, Vice Chancellor of a, like, Smoking University, and awesome abs too. And I owe it all to cigarettes.’ Leon Abseil, the UK’s Minister for Smoking, said ‘I have nothing to add to my previous comments.’ Reuters.

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