Angry author: ‘I’m ready to sue.’

'Stunning new look.’

Controversial novelist Simon Nolan (Whitehawk) says he is ‘ready to take action’ over a publicity picture.

‘I’m quite angry about it,’ he said in a recent interview. When asked if he was ready to take action, he refused to rule it out. ‘I’m not ruling it out,’ he said. The picture will be used in a high profile media campaign to promote the novel, which is published on July 14. Industry insiders say the launch will go ahead, despite the furore over the picture.

Stephen Foy, from Outtasight Promotions, the agency who commissioned the portrait, said:

‘We stand by this picture, which we think is a strong and distinctive image. We wanted to give Nolan a stunning new look, redefine him, re-niche him for a whole new generation of consumers, and we think we’ve done exactly that. We’re very proud of the picture.’

Amita Mukerjee, socialite and publisher, was too drunk to comment, though she did issue the following statement:

‘I’m too drunk to comment.’

Associated Press.

3 thoughts on “Angry author: ‘I’m ready to sue.’

  1. Stephen Foy says:

    Obviously, it’s disappointing to us all at Outtasight that you’ve chosen to vent your frustrations about this image via your personal bog [sic]. We had high hopes for the shoot and we were keen to do anything we could to champion someone who we felt was a inexplicably maligned author. When we first met you back in April to discuss the direction, you asked us to think Bruce Willis, Faber & Faber and a young Peter Cleall. Over the subsequent 3 weeks, we sent you 57 different publicity photos and treatments to review but the only response we had was a lengthy voicemail on 26th June, where you bragged about your new, white vests. As as token of goodwill, we’d be happy to let you have the unused photos we took at no cost – including those from the ‘themed’ shoot you arranged directly with the photographer.

    • Stephen, we’ve been over this a thousand times. I find your response to my ‘bog’ (sic) disappointing but not surprising. The ‘themed’ photoshoot you refer to was, you may recall, your photographer’s idea. Just flying a kite, he said, you’ve got to give ‘em what they want, he said, just go wiv it (sic), he said. Being a devout Christian, as well as an animal lover, I found the whole ‘concept’ distasteful, as well as unsanitary, perverse and, frankly, contrary to natural – if not domestic – law. The vests, as you well know, were a gift from my poor dear sainted Aunt Helena, and have no bearing on the matter in hand, irrespective of what that German woman says. And the finished ‘portrait’ isn’t exactly saying Faber and Faber to me, unless they’ve had a sudden and rather inexplicable change in direction recently. Hodder Headline, at a pinch. You’re right, a ‘personal bog (sic)’ (sic) is no place for a discussion of this kind. A town centre branch of Caffe Nero would be greatly to be preferred. If you can get down from your ivory towel.

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