The Little Zombie Who Just Wanted To Dance.

‘Look we’ve been over and over this,’ said Mrs Tupelo. ‘You put your arms out like this, you lurch about and you go uuuurgh. OK? Got it?’

Maisie sat sullenly at the table, staring at the oozing slab of brain in front of her.


‘When did you ever see a zombie dancing?’ said Mrs. Tupelo. ‘Feeding on human flesh, OK. Going uuuurgh, fine, that’s traditional. It’s what we do in this family.’

‘But I don’t like human flesh.’ Maisie picked at the food. ‘It’s all gooey…’

‘Yes love, well that might just be because it’s brains mightn’t it… Look, just eat a little bit of it and you can have some of the other stuff, what was it again?’


‘Uuuuurgh,’ said Mr Tupelo abruptly, as a rat crawled out of an eye socket. (He was, largely, ignored.)

‘And what’s all this about dancing?’ Mrs Tupelo said as Maisie moved the brains around her plate.

‘I’ve told you. I want to join a contemporary dance troupe,’ Maisie said, quietly defiant.

‘Maisie, your father didn’t get a machete embedded in his skull just so you could go prancing round in a leotard.’


‘You want to make us a laughing stock?’

‘I don’t care!’ Maisie cried out, tears stinging her eyes as blood spurted out of her ears. ‘I don’t want to lurch about going uuuurgh! It’s boring! I just want to dance!’

She ran from the room, slamming the door behind her.

‘Maisie. Maisie!’ Mrs Tupelo called after her. She turned to her husband. ’Graham. Can’t you talk to her?’

Graham looked at his wife. Her left arm fell off.

‘Uuuuuuurgh!’ he said.

2 thoughts on “The Little Zombie Who Just Wanted To Dance.

  1. Jack Michaelson, Executor for the Estate of M. Jackson esq. says:

    Dear author, I would be very grateful if could answer a technical question I have relating to zombie dancing.

    The Estate of Michael Jackson esq. have noted the recent public interest in all things ‘zombie’ and are interested in pursuing additional downstream revenue opportunities in the spirit of the recent production of over 51 unreleased genuine Michael Jackson songs, which Michael lovingly recorded from beyond the grave through the use of a spirit medium impersonator.

    As such, we are considering reanimating Michael’s lifeless and decayed corpse in front of a live paying audience, as part of the “Michael – Back From The Dead!!” tour.

    In your expert view, would you recommend the use of a voodoo-style incantation or advanced motorised puppetry to achieve our ends? Do you think the resulting dance moves be comparable with Michael’s original zombie dance in Thriller?

    Furthermore, because of the level of limb-flailing in such an energetic dance routine, and given the general state of putrefaction involved, would you recommend some amount of structural reinforcement of Michael? Or do you think the prospect of limb-lossage* would only add to the overall ‘zombie’ authenticity, particularly if flung into the first few audience rows (Premium VIP zone, naturally).

    *We are starting up a very reasonably priced limb donation program, open to all Michael’s fans, to cover the additional nightly limbage requirement. We feel confident that there will be a substantial uptake of this once in a lifetime opportunity and chance to become as one with Michael.

  2. Hello Mr. Michaelson.
    You meddle with forces so terrifying you barely begin to comprehend them.
    I trust that answers your queries satisfactorily.
    With all best wishes, etc.

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